Just this week, I scared the crap out of two students.
Wait, let me back up.
I’m always asking my students, “What is your end goal when it comes to music? What do you want out of lessons?” This week, two different students answered that question with, “I feel drawn to share my music with others, to perform. But I’m scared and I don’t know how to go about it.”
If you want to see one excited Kat, just ask for help making a plan. OMG I’M YOUR GAL!!!!
So I got really excited. I showed them how to select appropriate repertoire, how to organize it, how to start practicing performing, how to focus on ease and comfort during practice so they were relaxed, you get the idea. We kept it to just a few steps so it wasn’t too much to take on, but both of them, as soon as they saw the plan written down got quiet and ashen.
They both realized that their goals/dreams were not some unattainable thing way off in the future, they were actionable steps and really quite near. And they (understandably) got scared.
I can relate. I’m familiar with fear. I was scared to divorce my husband of 9 years. I was terrified to leave the public school system and become an entrepreneur. I was a nervous wreck when I rented my first studio and took my business out of my apartment. The first time I raised my rates, I thought I would have a panic attack. Every single time I enforced a boundary either personal or professional, I got all sweaty.
…my whole relationship with fear has shifted. We’re friends now.
But everything big and fulfilling and good, really truly good for me has been on the other side of my fear. I am happily remarried to my best friend and love of my life, I have been self-employed for almost a decade and love it, and I have gained a lot of confidence as a business owner. Doing ‘the thing’ regardless of how scared I was has paid off for me more times than I can count. So much so that my whole relationship with fear has shifted. We’re friends now.
Now I know three things for sure when I feel that giddy/excited/anticipating/fear feeling about a project or decision. 1) The thing is important to me, 2) It is big enough to be worth my time, and 3) When I accomplish ‘the thing’ I will be proud of myself and happier and better off.
So when students tell me they are scared to perform, I get excited because I know this is important to them, and so worth our time. I want to do all I can to help facilitate their success. They may not know it yet, but their joy is on the other side of their fear and I’m gonna help them get there.